A case of losing things in translation. (Oh, is that where my car keys went?)

Today I'm tweaking website copy for one of our clients, a Spanish-speaking country. "Tweaking" is too kind a word. Let's try "massive overhaul," "rebuilding," "intense cosmetic surgery"... I think you get the idea. Here are a few of my favorite excerpts, published exactly the way they were translated:

Starting at Castillo de san Felipe located at the encounter with the sea close to Livingston; you will find amazing paradise places of extraordinary beautifulness. Among the hot sun from the tropics, the breeze from the sea, and the Caribbean humidity, this large territory concentrates the essence of this region.

I can't decide which part is my favorite: the paradise places of extraordinary beautifulness; the muddled contrast of the hot sun, the humidity, and the sea breeze; or the territory's furrowed brow as it concentrates the essence of the region... do they bottle it? I'd like a pocket-size "Eau de Region," please.

The route is fulfilled of mangles and jungle.

Ah yes, I hear those mangles are quite fulfilling, although most drivers advise you go around...

Here you can fish with hook or take a bath. It is surrounded by a fragrant pine, which shadow has been built small cabins and places to cook.

Oh dear. Must I choose between fishing with a hook or taking a bath? That is a mighty large pine, to be surrounding a lake.

Occasionally, you can observe there cultural manifestations of local type.

Can't say a word. I just can't!

Hello, I'm Jess, and I'm a copywriter. This is what I do for fun! (I'm a little off my rocker, aren't I?)