Friday, January 1, 2010

We cry, that we are come to this great stage of fools.

Do you ever think of your life like a movie that's being filmed? And you're the star? I'm convinced we all do, though most of us will deny it vehemently. (Perhaps because in the script, the character description reads, "modest and self-deprecating"?)

I've come to realize that Pandora is the soundtrack to my life. I've created stations that should be renamed after my moods or life scenarios. For instance, the "Pink" station should be renamed "Bitch." "Andrea Bocelli" should be "Romance." "Needtobreathe" is "Main Theme." "ELO" is "Flashback."

I've been thinking a lot about the movie "Stranger than Fiction." I need to rewatch it. The concept of someone's life being moved (or scripted?) by another person (or Person?) is fascinating. And then to see the character become aware of the Author, to witness the struggle between the Author's will and the character's desires...it is The Story, told over and over again in each of our lives.

To be able to step outside myself as "Jess" and see myself as "character" suddenly lends a new perspective to the choices I make and the events that take place in my life. Of course, I question the Author - who doesn't? But what I've come to understand is this: I do not know how this story ends. What I'm being asked to do is simple; I have a choice. Do I attempt to write my own ending based on my blindered view as "character," or do I relinquish control of that which I cannot control anyway and trust the Author to complete my story perfectly? Simple, and still the most difficult choice I will ever make. Yet I'll make it again and again and again.

No comments:

Post a Comment